With Valentines Day approaching, love is in the air! And that means finding all the ways to show him you love him. Learn how to show him you love him every day, and you’ll strengthen your relationship in a way that lasts the whole year through and many more years to come.
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10 Ways to Show Him You Love Him Every Day
1. Listen and Pay Attention
Nothing says he’s important more than your undivided attention. Whether he’s talking about his favorite team or random home projects, make sure you listen as if he were unlocking the secrets of the universe!
Celebrity relationship expert Sloan Sheridan-Williams told Huffington Post, “whether you’re in a new relationship or have been together for years, it is vital to the success and happiness of your relationship that your partner feels valued by you, and the best way to demonstrate this is by paying them attention.”
2. Anticipate his Needs
If you’ve been together for a while, chances are you’ve come to know his likes and dislikes. For example, he might hate down pillows, love mushrooms, appreciate classical music, and despise Fox News. His pet peeves may be forgetting to close doors, leaving the lights on when you leave a room or cluttered bathroom counters.
Where possible, remember these things before he asks or complains. If you’re at a hotel, ask the front desk in advance for foam pillows, surprise him with a mushroom dish, and for goodness sake, put your face cream away and turn the lights off when you leave a room! These things may seem small but remembering them will show him you love him. On the other hand, persistently forgetting them can breed resentment over time.
3. Don’t Mother Him
Especially for those of us who have children, it can be easy to slip into mothering mode with our significant others. If only he would eat less junk food, drive slower, and have one less cocktail when out with friends, he would be such a better person! So, we remind him to put away the chip bag, drive no more than 5 miles per hour above the speed limit, and have no more than one glass of wine with dinner. We’re just trying to help, right?
Actually, our gentle reminders do nothing to change his behavior but can wreak havoc on our relationships.
He really doesn’t need two mothers. And by assuming this role, we create resentment. Parenting your partner actually shows a lack of respect. Very Well Mind explains that “putting yourself in the role of ‘parent’ and your partner in the role of ‘child’ is demeaning and can actually be counterproductive.”
So next time you want to “help” your partner, picture your mother saying those words and how you would receive the help if it were you. That does the trick every time!
4. Write Love Notes
Even in the digital age, there’s nothing like the power of a handwritten note to make someone feel loved and appreciated. And taking the time to put your loving thoughts in writing will surely kindle his flame. A form of expression that dates back to biblical times, love notes also are keepsakes that he can tuck away and reread whenever he wants, keeping his fire burning.
5. Show Him You Trust Him
According to Psychology Today, lack of trust is one of the top 10 reasons relationships fail. To make him feel loved, you need to trust him (barring any tangible reason for distrust), and he needs to be able to trust you.
Have you ever been in a relationship where your partner didn’t trust you? It feels both insulting and demoralizing. You can show your partner you trust him by respecting his personal privacy, not second-guessing him, and valuing his opinions. For example, don’t go through his phone, take his boss’s side when he complains about the job, or cut him off when he expresses ideas.
Show you can be trusted by creating a safe space for honest discussion, keeping relationship issues private, and reliably supporting him when he needs you.
6. Give Him Some Space
No one can be their partner’s everything, so don’t try. We all need friends and activities apart from our spouses. David Schnarch, Ph.D., author of Passionate Marriage refers to this as “differentiation.” According to Schnarch, “differentiation involves balancing two basic life forces: the drive for individuality and the drive for togetherness. … Giving up your individuality to be together is as defeating in the long run as giving up your relationship to maintain your individuality,” explains Schnarch.
So, allow him to preserve his individuality with a night out with the guys occasionally. And if you need some girl time, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Allowing him (and yourself) some individual space is a great way to make him feel loved.
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7. Remember to Compliment Him
So often, we take for granted the wonderful things about our partners, and we forget to tell them how much we appreciate them. Everyone loves a compliment, and your partner is no exception. So, if he is looking particularly handsome before he heads off to work, tell him so. If you appreciate how he always takes care of the yard or housework, don’t keep it inside.
Complimenting him sincerely and consistently tells him how much you love him and appreciate him.
8. Show Him Physical Affection
According to a 2011 study by the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, cuddling and caressing are key to long-term relationship satisfaction. And surprisingly, physical tenderness was even more important to men than to women.
The study looked at middle-aged or older couples in long-term relationships to understand the role of sexuality. It found that regular cuddling and kissing were more likely to predict happiness for men in the relationship than for women. So take the extra time to cuddle while you’re watching television, hug while you’re in the kitchen, or kiss passionately before he walks out the door. He’ll appreciate it.
9. Cook His Favorite Meal
This is the oft-stated way to a man’s heart. But really, it’s just another way to tell him you care. Showing him you are thoughtful enough to remember his culinary desires, go shopping, and prepare a full meal will make him feel special. Add a bit of candlelight and soft music along with recommendation number 8, and you’re certain to make him feel loved.
10. Be Open to Trying His Favorite Activities
This is not to say that you have to become someone you’re not just to please your partner. But it doesn’t hurt to try something new once in a while. If he loves fishing and really wants you to try it, go for it. It may seem like the most boring activity on the planet. But the effort alone will make him feel loved.
If he’s a sports fan and you’re not, consider watching a game with him and taking the time to learn a bit about the rules and the players. This is just another way to show him you care.
Before you complain that this post sounds like the 1950s, when pleasing a man was considered a woman’s only destiny, hear me out. Most of these suggestions could apply to making a woman feel loved too. All of these things have one thing in common – taking the time to make your partner a priority and making them feel like the most special person on the planet.
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Thanks for sharing these tips!
You are very welcome!
I’ve always given advice to my children that love is something you work at everyday day, it doesn’t have to take much effort but you should never take it for granted. Some days you try harder and other days your partner does, what matters is in the end it balances.
wonderful advice ❤️
You are a very wise woman, Nancy, and your kids are lucky to have such sage advice. Thank you for your kind words. It’s taken me a long time and a couple big marriage failures for me to learn.
I adore this! In these times of GREAT closeness, it is wonderful to remind ourselves to nurture our relationships.
I’m so glad you liked it Libbie!
Fabulous post, Michele! Love my hubby so much and only been married four years this March, but I have to say I’ve slipped on a few of these. Great reminders. Well written and just what I needed to read this morning.
Isn’t getting married in midlife wonderful? We know what we want and who we are, and it makes everything so much better! I’ve slipped too. I write these posts as much for myself as for anyone else!
Michele: These are such great reminders! This year is #32 for us and we continue to make mistakes, make up and try and do better. Marriage is work and love is a choice, not an emotion. Hope you have a fantastic Valentine’s Day with your honey
Xx Melanie
Thank you Melanie! 32 years is quite an accomplishment! And your thoughts about marriage are so right! Happy Valentines Day!
Michele,
Another great post on relationships!
Perhaps you will want to share this with IOM readers?
Thank you Robin! That sounds great! I’ll connect by e-mail!